Well, not according to Mr. Finn. There is no way to not come out without any battle scars.
Not the best decision I ever made and not for the right reasons, but out of that marriage came several things that have brought great and lasting joy.
One evening as I was silently having a meltdown in my kitchen, wishing for an end to all the unhappiness, I heard a knock on my door. It wasn't something I was used to hearing. I was living in Virginia far from family and friends. I was lonely and had been praying for a friend. Someone to help me deal with my life and help me get through this day. Just this day for starters.
The knock again. I finally mustered the strength to mask the feelings that were screaming all over my face. I opened the door to this lady I didn't know.
"I brought you a roast for dinner." she said.
"Uh, o.k.", I stammer. Why would she be bringing me dinner?
"I felt like I should bring you the dinner I prepared for my family." she answered.
"Thanks, but you didn't have too." I reply.
"Yes, I did!' she says. 'I am your visiting teacher and felt like I needed to bring this to your home right now and so I am following that feeling.' 'If you need anything else, please call me."
She left her number and she was gone, but she didn't take the warmth and love that she had brought into my kitchen. I went upstairs and cried.
I didn't need that roast. I don't remember if we even ate it, but I did need her and she followed the spirit in a moment when I really needed someone to care about me.
A short time later, I was asked to be a visiting teacher. I replied that I would only be one if I could be her companion. Not really the way you are supposed to accept a calling, but I was struggling and I knew that she followed the spirit and that she cared.
I wanted to spend more time with her. I wanted some of what she had. I craved it.
We became friends. Really good friends. Like grade school friends that can drive.
She empowered me with her kindness and strength. She was/is the strongest person I have ever met and is unflexible in her testimony and drive. I was amazed at all that she could do and was doing. Raising seven kids and working full time in a marriage that was challenging. And still doing her visiting teaching faithfully.
She taught me to run. We did that almost daily around the lake. It was easy because we talked about everything and then we would stop at the back of her house to talk some more. (O.k., so it wasn't easy to run, it was just more fun being able to talk the whole way.) I had no desire to go home and it was fun when her kids would come out and talk with us. It was peaceful.
It was a sad day when I had to move away from Virginia to the West Coast. I didn't know how I would survive without her.
The best part is, she followed me in spirit. I called her constantly and was able to walk taller and handle things better.
I love my dear friend Margaret and cannot thank her enough for being the answer to my prayer. She always says I was the answer to hers, but I know that Heavenly Father knew we would need each other. She has blessed my life in so many ways.
She wrote a book that is full of humor about lessons in her life. She is a HAPPY person that has a great sense of humor. Perfectly content with herself. I strive to be that way someday. She does it through honesty with herself. I am still working on that. I tend to lie to myself a bit when I don't want to change or work through something.
One day, I want to be just like her. My hero!
Check out her website, In His Footsteps. Her blog. Her Book. It is fabulous. There may or may not be a part in there about me. That isn't the reason to read the book, but it helped me to see what she was going through during that time. They say there are two sides to every story and it's fun to read the other side.
By the way, it was her birthday Sunday and I forgot to call her and wish her a day just like herself. FABULOUS!
I love you Margaret!