Friday, January 20, 2017

Once again...

Betty has been a part of our lives for the past several years.  She joined the church a couple years ago and Mr. Finn became her home teacher.  I started driving her to church a year ago when her visiting teacher moved.  It became the best part of my week.  She shared so much with me and showed me how to be happy in all times.  She was truly an angel in this life.

We grew to love her and were blessed to be part of her temple endowments and her sealing to her husband in the temple.  She felt a rush to get these things done and two months after doing the last of her work she passed away.  I talked to her the night before she passed and when she said she wasn't sure why she was still here.  I asked her if she had finished all she was meant to do in this life, to which she responded, "I have no secrets from God and I am ready".

We are blessed to have known her and she will be missed.  We love you Betty.

Monday, January 2, 2017

Another sad goodbye

We hear stories of spouses that pass away with hours, weeks, or months of each other because of profound loss and we think of it in a tender loving way.

Denny, one of my dad's closest friends passed away three weeks after my father.  He came to the funeral although he wasn't feeling well.   Problems with his colon he said.  He was to give the eulogy but didn't feel well enough to do it, so I was tasked with that honor.  Well, Gretchen and I.  I wasn't doing that alone.

He told me at the funeral how much he loved Dad and how hard it was for him.  I don't remember life growing up without Denny in it.  Mr. Finn says I never talked about him, maybe it's because he was just part of my life then.  Donna (my mother) didn't like him so he wasn't able to be around as much as he would've liked.  Dad and him would just take off...probably headed to see some car that was super awesome.  They were total car geeks.

He also took me aside and told me how I was the apple of my Dad's eye.  I sure haven't felt that way, for sure.  He said he talked about me all the time and what I was he was proud of me.  I sure wish he would have said those things to me himself, but I guess it's ok that at least I got to hear them.

Denny was also partly responsible for my daughter, Nyoka marrying Ben.  When Nyoka returned from her mission, I happened to be at Dad's when Denny was there.  He said she was welcome to come work for him at Anasazi.  He only hired return missionaries and was sure she would do a great job.  She ended up taking the job...long story for another time...and met Ben.  First boy she ever brought home for me to meet.

I love that he has always been so humble about it.  Such a good man with a good wife.  Sure do love them both.

I will miss him and his latest venture.  With Denny, it was always something.

Faces to remember

 My sisters Erika and Gretchen
 Sweet Miss Boo and her Grandma.
 Delightful Dude and his Grandma.
 Nadra (Ma) and Cousin Betty Jane.
 Cousin Milton Nelson
 Nephew Devon, brother Cory with his two boys, nephew Shae and niece Cherika
 MomE and Denny Ence. (one of Dad's closest friends(
Cousins: Debbie, daughter stacey, Robbie, and Julie.  Bubba (Gary) and his son are on the end.
 Bubba (Gary Hill) or as I call him, "Garbear"
 Rob and Trina Hill
 Cousin Buzz Keno and me
 Cousins Robbie, Stacey and Debbie
 Goofballs.  Definitely an inside joke.  May share it someday.  Gretchen, MomE, Erika and Joy (cousin)

Friday, December 30, 2016

Saying Goodbye

 We traveled to Dad's funeral 3 weeks ago and laid him to rest on December 8th.  It seems like a moment ago that we arrived and started running to get everything done.  I never dreamed there would be so much work to be done.  But how easy should it be to memorialize someone that lived 69 years?
 There were so many fun and touching stories that I heard over the course of the week.  Things I did not know about my Dad, things that showed me a deeper side of him that I really didn't know that well.
 There were the things I knew.  The parts of growing up that you just know as facts, like he loved his truck.  I tried driving it once when he was out of town, although that dang old truck wouldn't let me drive him.  Never got out of the driveway and never told a soul until this week.  I wonder if he knew...
 He loved this Valley.  Only left a couple of times for short periods and then returned to his home.  I've never seen the beauty in this place, but for me there is a piece of it buried in this dusty old valley and I will think of it differently now.
 I heard a song on the radio today by Patty Loveless, called "How Can I Help You Say Goodbye".  Almost took me down...I really don't know how to say Goodbye.  I know the funeral is to help with closure but I can't stand how this feels.  I know none of us were ready.  Who ever is?  He needed to go, he was in so much pain, but I...MISS...HIM!  And it hurts...a lot.
 There is a dignified beauty in death.  We are released from this mortal existence with all it's pain and hardships.  Sometimes I wish I could go with.  I feel as if I am always saying goodbye to my Fathers. I was so young when my father, Wellington, died.  I wasn't old enough to grieve.  I feel as if I am grieving them both right now and it is an impossible feeling.  I will no longer have a father to guide me or to talk to me.  I was blessed with two...
 I am grateful for MomE that took care of him and loved him.  I know it was hard for a while with his health issues, but I admire her for doing so with love, patience and kindness.  Her loss is infinite. She is a goodly woman and he loved her deeply.  The greatest advice he ever gave me involved a story about how much he loves her.
 My Aunt Judy is the sole survivor of the siblings.  I can't imagine what that must be like.  I pray she will be comforted in the knowledge that Dad was proud of her for turning her life around and going to the temple.  This is one of those things I learned about him.  He worked to bring those back to the fold.  His friend Fred talked about how Dad had bought a trailer in Lehi, AZ when my sister and I came to live with them and how Dad talked him into moving next door since Fred had married and had two of her boys living with them as well.  (side note: That's how Bill Betts and I became friends for life)
 Anyways, he had recently been reactivated to going to church and told Fred he would be by to pick him up around 7:00 a.m. for Priesthood.  Every week he showed up and Fred stayed in bed, finally after a long while, Fred decided he better get up if Dad was going to keep showing up every Sunday.  Fred has been active in the church ever since.
 He had a band of friends, five of them, that stayed friends from grade school on.  They were all there that were still alive.  He was that kind of person.  Never met a stranger and stayed loyal to all.
I love you Dad.  Thank you for choosing to my Dad...because I know it was a choice.

Sunday, December 4, 2016

Just gone

It doesn't seem possible that he is truly gone.

He just got his eyes fixed and was so excited he could see again...and then his hearing went.

Who will I call and yell into the phone to every week?

I know his health was bad and was getting worse.  He is in a better place.  No more pain.  No more meds...the addiction is over for him.

What I am realizing this morning is that "forgiveness" is relative.  It's easier to finally let everything go when they aren't around.  The good memories seem to crowd out the bad...I am grateful for that.

I am going to miss him.  After all we have been through, he is still my Dad and I love him.

That won't change.

We love you Dad, Grandpa Gary, Bruce, Wally.