I am sitting here at my desk having a conversation with my son Ryan. Boy have we come a long ways since the night of the spiders. He picked out a pack of spiders at the dollar store a couple of days ago and asked to see the spider that I had used on the "attack of the spiders" post and told me it was really cool. Have we turned a corner and can finally get over the spider phobia and be a typical boy?
He loves that the spider has red eyes, he likes that color a lot.
I am just glad to see him in a good mood finally. It has been over a week of him whining and crying, I actually started to think that I was losing my mind. I can only take so much whining before I blow, it is my greatest weakness. We have been learning about reverence at church for the past couple of weeks and how it is not just for church. I really want to "find" reverence in my life, but I truly find it elusive. I understand the time and season for everything and truly am grateful for the sister that shared that in R.S. It has helped me to not be so disappointed in myself, but I still desire to have peace and the end result quiet in my home. I know it has to begin with me and I have to change what is holding me back from that elusive peace. So, I get up each day and I TRY and with time I pray I can accomplish what I have set out to do.
This all sounds like a ramble as I try to sort out how to get my life back. I am not sure when I lost it, but I have felt so out of control for so long that I want me back. I sound completely nuts!!!! I have just spent some "real" time contemplating my life and finally staring it in the face, to realize that there is so much that I don't do to make it the way I want. Now is the time to get it together so my children can enjoy me and have good memories of childhood.