It's been two weeks since the "incident" and I am disappointed.
Really, I am.
Wasn't I supposed to be different, feel different somehow from going through such a life changing event?
I feel the same. The same old ME.
That is disappointing.
And then I had this thought while talking to an old friend. We can have life changing events, but it takes work for those events to truly change us. Nothing of value is easy or given without much sacrifice and work. Not too mention desire and need.
Where does that leave me? Disappointed. I wanted something easy.
I do see some changes. I don't like loud, angry voices anymore and that includes mine. It feels wrong! I can't figure out how to impart this to Miss Boo. She likes to yell. Too much and many times I rise to it because I get frustrated.
I want that idea of a peaceful home where n'er is spoken an unkind word. I believe it is doable, even necessary. If we are to prepare our homes to be a refuge, I believe it is essential. Life is daily becoming a challenge. The world is making the lines blurry for many in it. I see the daily assaults against the family, against freedom, against honesty and integrity.
I pray that I am up to the challenge as I believe the attack on what we believe will become harder than we can ever imagine.
I love my family. I want to be with them for eternity. Given that, change must happen.
I don't believe our Heavenly Father is going to accept mediocrity when it comes down to it. It's time to allow the change...