Realization = another answer

As I was driving across the river into Memphis, TN on our way to our new life, I broke down.  I realized I wouldn't be going home again.  There are no words to describe it, just the feeling of a broken heart.  That may be a little melodramatic, but it really hurts when I think of Missouri as not being my home anymore.

I loved it there.  Had good friends, church, school for the kids, home, etc.  We had been there seven years and I didn't realize how rooted we were in the community until I was ripped from it.

I don't blame anyone, I just wasn't ready emotionally for the move.  I kept my feelings in check and didn't allow myself to really cry or feel it.

But, I sure did coming across that bridge.  The sobbing was pathetic.  So bad that I called my Dad and sobbed in his ear.  I'm sure it made his day.  Thanks for Dad for listening.  I just needed someone to hear me out and let me cry.

We were all pretty crabby that night and the next morning.  Mr. Finn's air conditioner (that he just had fixed for the fancy price tag of $1064.00) stopped working.  Not something you can live without if you aren't Southern.  I see plenty of vehicles with the windows down, but I have to tell you, it would kill me.

I know... how dramatic!

We had an appointment to meet with the Real Estate Agent that the relocation company assigned us.  We weren't having a great morning and didn't want to talk about buying a house when we haven't sold ours.  Seemed pointless, but I convinced Mr. Finn we should go if only to let her know what our parameters would be if we were ready to buy.  He gave it a one hour limit.  I agreed.

Best and worst hour of my life.

She started out talking with a very thick southern accent and lots and lots of stories.  Some pertinent to our situation and most not.  Just lots of back history on what she would be talking about at that particular moment.  We digressed so much off the subject sometimes that I blocked her out.  Mr. Finn got more out of it than I did and then... we told her we were trying to find a rental with a shorter lease than what we were finding.

She stopped.  Yes, she stopped talking for a second and looked me in the eye.  "I have a little house not far out of town that Mister Dwight is leasing for two years, but he just called me and is going to leave on August 1st."  I told him, Mr. Dwight, you can't do this to me, I can't afford that mortgage payment and you have to work with me...".  The rest I don't remember because it kept going and going.

The point is that she has this house to rent and would be willing to lease it to us until the end of April versus end of July like everyone else.

When we went to see the property, she couldn't get in, but she said we could go to her home and see the pictures online.  It is cute and will work for us.  Whew!  Huge blessing.  We were so worried we wouldn't be able to find anything to live in.

When I brought the check back for the deposit, she looked at me kind of strange and asks, "Do you believe in God?"  I said "Yes, I do".  She then told me that last Saturday she had been praying really hard that a nice family would be brought to her that could lease this property and she wouldn't be out any money.  "And then he brings you right to my doorstep!", she says.

There was other conversation about how she is looking for a church and lo and behold, out her front door you can see the steeple to our church.  I invited her to come at 10 a.m. any Sunday she wanted.  That we would always be there.

Once again the Lord has taken care of us.  I am ashamed that I spend so much time worrying about things.  So grateful for this blessing and huge weight lifted off our shoulders.