An answer

I am always amazed when I hear of people getting direct answers to prayers and can expressly say what happened.

On tuesday afternoon we realized that the children's shot records were missing. It had been a long time since I had seen them, I assumed they were in the safe.

Wrong.

Since the children were in public school I had not kept up on their shots. Well, that is one of the reasons. Another reason is that when the Dude was little I felt quite strongly that I should not continue with his immunizations. Don't get me wrong, I am not against them, I just couldn't seem to bring myself to do his. Every time I called to make an appointment I would get so uneasy, so I went with that feeling and after a while I forgot about them.

 That was 2007.

 Now, I was desperately trying to find those records to no avail. I pulled my top drawer out and went through every piece of paper and memorabilia that I had stuffed in there over the past five years.

 Nothing.

 Tried the file cabinet, but I knew that was a long shot.

Still nothing,, So, I thought, what would Laurie do? Pray, of course. So I knelt there in that closet and prayed that I would know where those records were, that I would be able to see in my mind where they were.

 I got a Margaret type answer. (she knows what I am talking about). Go paint your toe nails. What? Paint your nails. Ok. I'm not getting anywhere looking. By the time my toes were dry I was calm and relaxed. Not a feeling I have had much these days I admit.

I then felt that I should look in that drawer again. But, I had just looked through every thing in that drawer I say to myself.  "Just look!"  I can't tell if I hear or feel it.  For me it is the same thing at this point. I open the drawer and pick up the first piece of paper and there are those records on top.

 Such feelings of gratitude bubbled up inside me as I realize that he is teaching me to rely more on Him. He needed me to slow down, ask him and also to feel some peace for a bit. Trust him and let me see that He is all powerful and will help if we turn it over to him.

I struggle with that part, I always want/need to do it all. Rely on my limitations and cry to him when it doesn't turn out well. So much to learn in this life. So grateful that he doesn't give up trying to make me a better person and to help me become a better person. So many things I want to change, trying harder to rely on him.