Chicken

It was the last five minutes of RS and a sister was sharing her testimony.  Moments before Laurie had nudged me and said, "It's your turn".  I felt an instantaneous tightening of my stomach.

I sat wondering what I could possibly share.  I truly couldn't put any thoughts together.  I have a testimony but I was wondering why I couldn't find anything to share.  Why was that?

At two minutes until the end of class it struck me that I was looking for some "pat" testimony to share.  That isn't me.  My testimony is the things that make me live the gospel every day.  The things that I learn when I feel as if I am stalled out.

Laurie reminded me yesterday when we were trying to get the paint sprayer to work on this job we contracted to do for her husband's dentist office.  She said we needed to say a prayer.  I was thinking about how that is such a trivial thing  to ask of our Heavenly Father.  This was something we needed to figure out.  But, there was such power in the simplicity of her prayer.  As we continued to work on the sprayer I realized that it was her faith that held that power.  She didn't doubt that she would get an answer in some way.

It helped me remember that He does listen and like us as parents wants to help us when we have exhausted our own resources.

The sprayer started to work again but hours later it took a turn for the worse.  At this time she said we needed to rent and so we did.  We had a conversation about why we didn't receive this answer hours before when it broke the first time or the day before when it acted up.

It wasn't because of her faith, it was because of mine.  I tend to lean on my own willfulness and insecurities before I go to the Lord for help.

I am grateful that I got to spend the time with Laurie working frantically to complete the painting of this 5200 sq foot building.  It was the hardest I have worked for four days and it was a great experience to have with her.  I laughed a lot, sweated a lot and was exhausted, but in some ways I came out energized in the end.  Even after only 3 hours of sleep.

Jonette saw that I was about to rise and share my testimony, but I shied away.  I didn't have the courage to rise anyway when the RS president was getting up.  She would have allowed me my moment.  I caught Jonette's eye and she asked if I was o.k.?  I nodded yes.  I was fine.  Disappointed in myself, but relieved that I knew I had a testimony and that was good for me.

After RS was over, Jonette motioned me over and asked me to share my testimony with her.  I was overcome with emotion.  She is such a warm person that sees the needs in others and gently encourages.  I am grateful for her in our ward and that she has shown such service and kindness to me.

As I finished up this job with Laurie I told her I was glad we are still friends and that I was not doing another one like this.  She is a very hard worker with a deep spiritual drive.  Thank you Laurie for making it so much fun and for helping me to learn some much needed lessons in my life.  I also learned that she is a prankster, especially when she knows a weakness.  And yes... I am paranoid.