Still pondering the "fluffy".

I've pondered on all the New Years Resolutions I have read around the blogging community and it has made me think about my lack of having one.  Really.

I say I want to be less "fluffy", but to be completely honest to myself, (and you) I have ZERO desire.  I have WANT but not "get up and go".

I want to wake up tomorrow and be the size I was 2 years ago.  I was happy with that body. Or at least I am now.  Weight is subjective.  When I weigh a lesser weight I am always thinking it would be better if...

When I am heavier I look back on that weight and think I was perfect.  See the vicious cycle?

I need to just find solace in what I am.  Be o.k. with the way I look.

I am not obese.  That is something, right?

Why is it so hard for women (and some men) to be o.k. with how they look.  I read a post today that says the media (TV) have made it impossible for us to be happy with our physical appearance and blame US for not weighing the perfect weight.

What is the perfect weight?

I guess that depends on how you feel about you, I suppose.

I was feeling o.k. about my weight and even thought the curves were kind of sexy.

Until we took our family photo and realized I looked more like a potato.  There is a reason I did not pick the one with us standing up.  And... this picture is cropped for obvious reasons.

(The question is:  What the heck am I looking at?  They are looking at a stuffed cat!)

Apparently my mind can see what it wants in the mirror.

Is that a bad thing?

Or has society taught us the definition of shape.

I was watching a documentary show on Discovery and in the background were artworks of these voluptuous victorian women.  They were huge by todays standards, but were considered beautiful and most desirable back in the ? century.  (this isn't a history lesson so the facts won't be spot on.)

When did that change?  Why did that change?  Who changed it?

Why did women allow that image to change?

I guess what I am trying to say is...

Is it o.k. to love yourself as is and come what may?

Or...

Is that an excuse to be "fluffy"?